i envy people that come up with witty comebacks on the spot because i’m gonna need at least a 3 day notice
my mom spent $9,360 on my private tumbling lessons in one year lmao
tumbling like gymnastics i did not get blogging lessons
once my sister got rejected for a job at a web design company that she really wanted to work for so that night she hacked into their website and redirected it to her blog and the next day the CEO called her and hired her on the spot so moral of the story: if at first you don’t succeed, hack their website and make them beg for mercy
ALL WATER DOES NOT TASTE THE SAME
"the ice bucket challenge is stupid and it’s not really raising any money or awareness"
It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips
maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife
proof that white t-shirts are best for ice bucket challenge
My mom has just informed me she is “team Cumberbuns” after viewing this picture
Honestly Cosmo, I came out to have a good time and I’m feeling so attacked right now.